“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” ~Ingrid Bergman

Well Hello, old friend…
No excuses. No apologies. I’ve been enjoying my life immensely …that is all. I’ve even been pondering the idea of taking a hiatus from blogging altogether. But alas, I’m back once again to pour my words out onto your pages. To discuss joyous occasions and laugh at oddities, to own up to my awkward moments and dissect my silly quirks. All out in the open for scrutiny in the public eye. Why on Earth would I be so transparent, you ask? Why don’t I password protect my life? That is a damn good question, actually. The only answer I have is… That’s not me. I don’t hide. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and sure, it might bring some hurt feelings into my day occasionally. But it feels much more authentic to be true and broadcast good stuff that might inspire people, or awkward moments that people can relate to, than to stay private and closed off. And believe me, friends, the truly juicy stuff in my life doesn’t go on a WordPress Blog, it stays in my heart and the heart of my loved one, all tucked away neatly and safely for our eyes only.

But there is so much more to talk about. Life brings us daily gifts in a myriad of ways. Getting that extra half hour of sleep & snuggle time in the morning; a hand written letter from a dear friend in your mailbox; when a new recipe comes out delicious the first time; discovering new music; cozying up with a great book on one side of the couch while your loved one is reading on the other side of the couch, under the same blanket… I could go on forever! And these are things that are worth talking about, and sharing. It’s the little things in life that bring us so much joy, IF we are able to recognize them. So sure, I might rant and rave about something awful and annoying from time to time, but those are the times that we can laugh at, ultimately. And in fact, by writing about those times I am making myself laugh at them, and it becomes a non-issue.

So there. I am back, and I am grateful for my blog, and my readers. I’m grateful for my family and friends who allow me to process my life openly and passionately with no judgement. And I am grateful to the very few of those out there who insist on judging and being party-poopers. You only make me stronger.

So with all of that being said… Let’s start again.

Well, Hello old friend! What a wonderful month it has been. I don’t even know where I left off, but I think since the last time I was here I went to Mexico, had a crazy 80’s-themed surprise birthday, saw Prince in concert from about ten feet away, went to see the beautiful Chris Cornell solo acoustic concert at Humphry’s, wrote another chapter of my book, led an Ayurveda workshop, and had a blast with Kaleo in between it all. I know I’m missing a ton of stuff, but I just don’t feel like recapping right now. What I do want to say is that I finally saw the Oprah show. Yes, for the first time ever. I think I must have seen it in passing here and there, I mean it has been 25 years since she’s been on-air! But I never really sat down to watch an episode. Not until last week, when I was feeling a little under the weather and decided to stay home in my jammies and drink tea on the couch. And watch Oprah. ???
Anyway, I will spare you the sappy details, but I was in tears! She was so awesome, and inspirational! I don’t know if all her shows are like that, but I was moved. Then I realized it was her very. last. show. Like, ever. I had no idea it was even ending. It’s never even been on my radar, whatsoever, so I never paid her any attention.  But damn, that girl can make a grown woman cry. Where am I going with this? Well apparently she has something on her show called My Favorite Things. Awesome idea! So I would like to share with you some of mine. However, the last thing I want is to be sued by a woman who can make me cry, so I am going to call it:

Things I am Loving Right Now

{Tuberose Essential Oil}

Sorry for the bad shot. But this stuff is deeelicious. My mom gave me 4 bottles for my birthday! I wear a smidge on each wrist everyday and it brings me right back home to Hawaii. I just placed an order to sell them in my boutique.

{Daniel}

Kaleo and I are huge supporters of Farm Sanctuary. When our beloved pig, Bella, passed away a year and a half ago, we decided against getting another pet. Instead, we became supporters of this organization and a personal sponsor of  a beautiful piglet named Blossom. They have two shelters, one in Northern California and the other in New York. Please visit their website and see what they are all about. For my surprise party, Kaleo created a large donation jar with literature and a whole display for my party guests to donate in lieu of a traditional birthday gift. How incredibly sweet is he???

{Breville Juice Extractor}

The Breville Juice Extractor is our new best friend. We juice everyday, and the cleanup isn’t even too terrible with this one. My favorite mixtures lately are Carrot-Ginger and Apple-Beet. Juicing is so deliciously good for your heart, your skin, your liver, your blood… The benefits are limitless! If you want to read about juicing, I found this great resource: The Juicing Book online. As for the juicer we purchased, we found Breville to be the best for what we were looking for. Easy cleanup, durable, industrial parts, and the extractor feature is a must.

{Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me}

Okay, I admit it, this book is hilarious. I read so many serious, not-so-easy to read texts that every once in a while it’s a lot of fun to read something like this, or the True Blood series. And I happen to Love Chelsea. This book is written by her friends, family, and co-workers, spilling the beans on all of the mean pranks and lies that Chelsea pulls on them. It’s pretty funny, and yes, her other books are funny too. Good summer beach read.

{Topless & Barefoot}

I love nail polish by Essie. It is reasonably priced and the colors are so soft and romantic. This pale natural pinkish gem is my new fave, I have it on my toes right now. Another polish I love when I want to go for a bit more pizazz is Butter London which uses No Formaldehyde, and come in whimsical colors with names like Tea With the Queen, Tramp Stamp, and The Full Monty. Love!

Well, it’s nice to be back. It was also nice to take a break. Stepping back and re-evaluating things is a necessary step in growth sometimes. We can use it as a tool to see if what we want out of life and what we are doing in life are in alignment. Now on to the important stuff… What is everyone doing for the Summer??

~Hugs
Melanie

PS: Thanks to Anonymous for the compliment, but to give credit where credit is due… My inspiration for titling all my posts with quotes comes from one of the blogs I love, Smart, Pretty and Awkward.


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Got a minute??

Because this is going to be a long one…

Hi friends! I am taking a break today to post my way past due photos and try to get up-to-date as much as I can. So many events, fun times, episodes of Sons of Anarchy Season 2 on DVD (finally!), yummy dinners with Kaleo, yoga classes, studying, has been happening lately as well as Kaleo getting ready to head back out on tour… That I have been, well, avoiding the blog. Not even looking at comments or blog stats or anything. So now I sit down to review all that I have missed and damn! There have been quite a few new readers and unique visits lately! So first of all, Hello! And second of all, Why now, when I haven’t posted anything? It’s kind of like going to the zoo and watching the bears sleep. Maybe waiting for it to twitch or scratch his butt, maybe swat a fly away. Not much happens. You COULD go over to the monkey cage and watch those crazy little buggers swing from branch to branch, make goofy faces and fling poop at you. Whee! But thank you anyway for your interest. 🙂 I am now going to channel my inner monkey and swing from topic to topic, make goofy faces while blogging and fling po… nevermind.

So I previously posted about a very busy week I had. Here we go…

As many of you know, Haj and Kezzie are having a baby anytime now. Like any minute. I mean, he is 10 days late, for crying out loud. Every morning if I hear either one of our iPhones, I immediately think that it’s Haj telling us Kezzie is in labor. I can’t wait for my little nephew. I can’t wait for anything, we all know that. Anyway, we held a co-ed baby shower for them at Remy and Whitney’s Riviera house. Here are some pics:

{baby's onsies}

Eden had the AWESOME idea of having everyone paint blank onesies for the baby. It was really fun and everyone got into the spirit. (Thanks Eden)

{painting them at the Tiki Bar on the lanai}

{hanging out to dry}

{papa Haj}

{Bret and Kaleo getting artsy}

{Whitney's creation}

{Remy with the mommie-to-be, Kezzie}

{Remy and Whit, sunset}

{drinking Primo from baby bottles}

{probably the only time you will see onesies hanging from a tiki bar}

{sunset... time for guitars by the fire}

It was such a great time with our family and friends. Thank all of you for coming out to support life. Looking forward to bambino’s first bday! Of course, he has to be born first… I mean, no pressure or anything.

So on to the day at the Del Mar racetrack gone bad. Whew. Did I mention this was going to be a long post? I totally understand if you want to take it in sections and go grab a snack…

First let me  preface this by saying I Know Better. I don’t know what I was thinking when I said, Yay! Let’s take the train to Del Mar and go meet Dave and Deedee at the racetrack for the last couple of races and see the beautiful horses then stay for Peter Tosh, it will be fun and then we can get dinner and hang out with our friends and it will be so fun oh my gosh, ahhhh! Kaleo agrees, and we get on the train heading south.

{Kaleo on the train}

We get to Solana Beach where Dave and Deedee are going to pick us up but they are stuck in traffic. No problem, we walk over to the Wild Note to wait. When the finally get us, we head down to try and find parking at the races. As we head in to the track, we hear that it is the second to the last race of the day so we walk up to the Betting Man ( I don’t know the terminology here, so bear with me) to place our bets. Not knowing what we were doing, the Man was really nice and patient. We picked our horses by their coolio names and took our seats right at the finish line.

{Dave and Deedee}

{yay for horsies!}

{we actually did win on this ticket}

{the race is on...}

So after our race, we began chatting with some ladies in the box in front of us. One of them asked if I had seen the ‘accident’. Horrified I asked her what she meant. She said that the race right before we got there had a horse crash right at the finish line (yes, directly in front of us), and it was bad. I started getting hot and shaky. See, I grew up having horses, riding them, showing them, loving them so much that it was my entire world for years. And now I am here at the racetrack feeling like I’m going to be sick…

She said that the horse broke her leg and they put her to sleep right there. What they do apparently, is quickly drive in a tent to put over the horse while they euthanize, no wait. I’m not even going to soften it by using that word. They KILL the horse because it won’t be making them any more money. People take this time to mosey on up to the Betting Man to beat the lines for the next race and maybe grab a freaking glass of chardonnay and bag of popcorn, not even giving a shit that a horse much too young to be racing, and who has been pumped full of steroids and pain meds, and has been forced to run on a lame leg anyway has tripped after being beaten by the jockey in order to finish either Win, Place, or Show… and is now being put down. All because the owners have lost on this investment and don’t want to donate the horse to a sanctuary or take the time or money to rehabilitate her and give her to some lucky little girl who can’t afford a pony to love. It. Is. So. Wrong.

And I am guilty of going there. However, I will NEVER go back. I won’t go on and preach about all I have learned after this event, but I do know that this happens more than you would want to think. And everyone seems very callous and used to it, even though this season there have been (last time I checked) 14 horses put down at Del Mar alone. Disgusting and sad. I encourage everyone to find out more and don’t support this gross display of sugar-coated animal cruelty. Ok, I think I should go get my own snack now…

I guess that was kind of like me, as a monkey, flinging poop at you. So now I move on to something fun. The Playboy Mansion! There is a great cause called It’s All About the Kids that our friends Dave and Deedee of Dopamine Energy Drink support. Party for a Purpose is the NPO that holds events for the cause and each year they throw a party at the Playboy Mansion. This years theme was Lucky #7 since it was their 7th year. Kaleo donated a signed guitar for their auction and we, along with Dave and Dee headed to the mansion for the event…

{just getting there}

{Deedee, Kaleo and I in our cabana}

{the painted ladies}

{the acrobats and fire dancers}

{me, standing on the great lawn}

{I took this shot of Kaleo (with his wristband) to send to his skate sponsor, Sector 9}

Hef has an actual zoo permit and is a huge animal lover. So he has birds, monkeys, etc. Whenever I go to the mansion I visit my favorite bird, Nana. She is an older gal, but always so sweet…

{me and Nana}

{Monkeys!}

{Deedee and I by the birdcage}

{the signed Pepper guitar}

{bikini fashion show}

{fire dancer}

{Kaleo in the grotto}

{the brought Hef on stage to accept an award}

It was such a great time! Sorry for the blurry photos, but we both forgot our camera (I know, right?!) and I was trying to capture everything with my iPhone. There were fire dancers, snake charmers, pole acrobats (seriously), dancing, yummy food, and lots of beautiful people everywhere having a blast. We are so happy that we got to be a part of it again this year. 🙂

Well that’s it for part one. I have lots more to share but I have to go teach a yoga class so I will say adieu for now. And no, as of 3:12pm, September 9th, Haj and Kezzie’s baby STILL has not been born. This is killing me…

~Melanie

Love means never having to say… “I’m sorry for not blogging.”

So of COURSE I have been lagging in the blog area… I am a busy girl. Visiting Kaleo on tour in multiple cities, having my mom here, Kaleo coming home, Kaleo’s mom visiting, not to mention running a business and changing the world, one day at a time…you get the picture. Haha. Well, my friends, I have a solution. My friend Christy over at the Domestic Princess posted this cool 30 Day Blog something-or-other that I want to participate in. It’s outlined below, but please note that I will be posting normal blogs in addition to the 30 Day thingamajigg. Which means that I will be putting up the photos of tour that I promised. I’m so bad at this, and I’m so sorry. (big pout, major tail between the legs) Gosh, I never thought that this little ol’ blog would bring so much guilt. Ugh. Anyway- starting tomorrow, please see below:

Day 1 – your favorite song X
Day 2 – your favorite movie X
Day 3 – your favorite television program X
Day 4 – your favorite book
Day 5 – your favorite quote
Day 6 – 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 – a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 – a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 – a photo you took X
Day 10 – a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 – a photo of you recently X
Day 12 – something you are OCD about
Day 13 – a fictional book
Day 14 – a non-fictional book
Day 15 – your dream house
Day 16 – a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 – an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 – my wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 – a talent of yours
Day 20 – a hobby of yours
Day 21 – a recipe
Day 22 – a website
Day 23 – a youtube video X
Day 24 – where I live
Day 25 – your day, in great detail
Day 26 – your week, in great detail
Day 27 – my worst habit
Day 28 – whats in my handbag/purse
Day 29 – hopes,dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 – a dream for the future

The one where Karma literally kicks me in the ass.

I am a work in progress. We ALL know that. If fact, we ALL are works in progress so there. I try to be kind, easy going, compassionate and patient as much as I can. And I teach the same to my students, which helps me if I ever find myself in a moment of frustration or anger or brattyness. I mean, I’m supposed to walk the walk, right?? Just because I’m not on my yoga mat doesn’t mean I should go all willy-nilly and be a crazy person. But alas, I do have my moments. Take today, for example. Great morning teaching yoga, doing payroll, going to the bank, getting groceries. Nothing stressful, easy-peasy. At the store (which is an insanely tiny health food market) I run into (read: bump with my hip) a lady who was bent over looking for hemp milk on the lower shelf. I apologized and smiled and she growls at me! No really, it was an incoherent mumbling growl. I wasn’t sure if she had something stuck in her throat and needed my help doing the Heimlich, or if she spoke some unusual foreign language and was excusing my hip contact, OR if she really did growl…! So I turned around and said, Excuse me? She replied (in perfect, ungrowling English, AND in a normal, kind of nice voice) If I wanted to talk to you I would have asked your name. … UM-What the..???? Okaaay then. Every time I turned a corner in the store she was there and would abruptly turn on her heels and go the other way. I went about my shopping and at the check out she was behind me. Watching. Staring. Frowning. Now understand that in no way does she look crazy, or mentally challenged, or anything that would make me kind of understand and excuse the strange behavior. She looks like a normal soccer mom. The check out girl is a new student of the studio and was asking questions about certain teachers, making small talk, telling me how much she enjoyed her class, etc. while she was putting the groceries into my bag. The woman in question kind of Harrruumphed. There’s no other way to describe it so just go with it. We both looked at her and she rolled her eyes and took a call on her iPhone. So I’m headed to my car and she comes out and backhandedly says, People have lives to live. Maybe you should make friends on your own time. Oh. Wow. I had a handful of two bags, my purse and my iPhone and I had just opened my driver’s side door. As I was leaning in to put my bags on the passenger seat I mumbled kind of under my breath and, well, kind of not: Or maybe you should just go and be a bitch on YOUR own time.

Right at that moment, my heavy car door that I had swung open with my foot just a teeensy bit too hard swung all the way back and hit me on my ass. Knocking me over. So that my legs came up from under me, my face planted onto my e-brake, and my groceries fell onto the passenger floor. AWKWARD. I pulled myself up and out of the car soooo ungracefully, and turned just in time to see her driving out of the parking lot laughing.

And that, my friends, is how karma kicks you in the ass.

Hindsight, of course, tells me that I should have been a wave and let it go, maybe she was having the worst day of her life, I don’t need to resort to petty, bitchy  retorts that make me sound like a 5th grader… Blah, blah and BLAH. But if the Universe works like how I think it works… She probably stepped in dog poop getting out of her car anyway. 🙂

~Melanie

Do you suffer from Restless-Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome?

Have you ever had moments where you feel so completely and painfully awkward, where you do and/or say something so stoopid that afterwards you berate yourself outloud shaking your head and going, ‘Really? Did you really just do that? Oh my gosh, you are such an idiot, what is wrong with you?’…? Well, I have done that so often that now the conversation with myself goes more like, ‘Ha, that was a funny one. Of course you just did that. Oh Melanie you slay me sometimes…’.

Well, here are a few doozies for you all to enjoy. And you wonder why kaleo calls me “Little Tomato”:

* As you know, we moved to Oceanside recently, which we love. The diversity, the sense of community, the beach, the funky little cafes, and …our friendly neighborhood working girls. One such lady of the evening happens to live/work on or somewhere near our street. She is very nice and always smiles and says hi and makes small talk while walking to her friend’s housevan down the block. This morning, our small-talk-mini-conversational-nicety went something like this:

Me: Hi.

Her: Hi there, how are you?

Me: Good, and you?

Her: Oh, can’t complain. No one will listen, haha. Are you enjoying this weather?

Me: Oh yeah, and you?

Her: Sure, sure. It’s nice out. I just love it when it’s sunny but cool. Are you heading out to work?

Me: Yep, and you?

(long dramatic pause… and a slightly shocked look on her face which promptly turned to a BIG smile)

Her: Uh… yeah Hun, I sure am. I better get back to the office. (as she turns around and saunters down the sidewalk)

Ugh, Awkward!!

* Sometimes in yoga class bodily things happen. Yes I am speaking of farts. Passing gas. Breaking wind. We just pay no mind, it’s all natural, moving on, blah, blah. Well, I almost lost my cookies one day when I think I was the cause of the ugh, erm… release. I am usually a hands-on yoga teacher, which means that I give adjustments while the student is in a pose such as downward dog or child’s pose. One of my students was in child’s pose on this particular day and I came over and placed my hands on her back, giving a gentle massage down the spine and then using the heels of my palms to press down on her lower back to ease the hips down to the heels. As soon as I pressed on her lower back, she pooted loudly. I eased up and then applied a little more pressure which caused another poot. I didn’t want her to think that I was grossed out or anything so I did it for a third time, and yes, she answered back. Poot. Why didn’t I stop at two?? I don’t know! I guess I was morbidly curious to see if I could make her do it again. See?! I told you I was awkward! By this time, other students were sneaking peaks out of their child’s poses to see who was doing the deed, and the poor girl with the working digestive system decided to just stay in child’s pose with her head down for a while… So awkward!! (sidenote: what’s even more awkward?? The fact that I typed the word ‘poot’. What is that?!)

*  While filming for the travel show recently, I was in the back seat of Eden’s BMW with the other girls and camera 1 was in the front. I was chatting away with the girls, catching up with them since I haven’t seen them in a couple of months. I proceed to tell them all about me sort-of-half-assedly-self-diagnosing myself with Restless Leg Syndrome. I was explaining that, well, I will do it this way:

Me (to the girls): “I used to always get annoyed with those dumb commercials for Restless Leg Syndrome on TV. It’s like, ‘Come on people, just stop moving your leg! Seriously.’. But… I think I have it. No I’m serious, I really think I do, in my left leg. I bought some homeopathic medicine for it to see if it works and I even looked it up online and RLS has a nickname. Jimmy Leg. Now whenever my leg feels funny Kaleo says, Awww Jimmy Leg… . It’s so embarrassing…”

You know, I was just making conversation. Well the other day I get an email with some of the rough cuts of footage. Yep, my Jimmy Leg bit is in there for all of TV land to see. *cringe* Oh well… Just call me Jimmy.

There are many, many more. I could create an entire blog dedicated to my awkward-ness. But I figure I will just throw a few out here and there for your enjoyment. I mean, even I enjoy laughing at me. But come on, make me feel better. What are some of YOUR awkward moments? We could even showcase some on Awkward Mondays. In fact, if any of you out there want to be a guest blogger and tell me about an awkward moment for next Monday, email me at melaniewassman@me.com

Have a wonderful week!

~Melanie

UPDATE: Some awesome Awkward moments from friends and family…

Comment from ALLISON:

Here’s a great awkward moment from yours truely—apparently my SUBCONSCIOUS thinks one of the doctors I work for is super hot because every time I get around him I turn bright red and get all nervous, today when I was talking to him (while turning bright red) he informed me that I should get my thyroid levels checked out because every time he sees me I’m glistening with sweat, shaky, and bright red—In my head I’m thinking “YOU are causing this, and I dont know why”  AWKWARD….