We are back from our trip home to Hawaii. Does anyone else feel a little relieved that the holidays are over? Is it just me? I’ve sat down to write a few times and I stop each time. I have gone through so many emotions in the past month that to corral them all into one coherent post would be a huge challenge that I honestly didn’t feel like conquering. Trying to stay on an even keel during a rollercoaster of events, emotions, delightful experiences and heart wrenching tragedy… All during the holidays. And when I tried to write, it just didn’t feel like I was coming from an authentic place since I was trying to find answers and bright-sides amidst confusion. So I didn’t write. But then I realized that sharing these very thoughts are what readers might need to hear. Not just the all-is-well happy stuff but the I’m-trying-to-follow-my-own-advice stuff too. So here I am.
First of all, I want to clarify that everything with me directly is great. Kaleo and I are happier than ever, we have our health, and home life is simply beautiful. However, a large number of my closest and dearest friends and family are going through rough times for many reasons. I don’t want to air anyone’s personal stuff, but there has been a tragic death of a friend’s family member, terminal illness, break ups, financial hardships, more unexplained death, and most recently, someone in my family passing away from Cancer. If you know me, you know that I nurture, and I want to make things all better. Well, I can’t. And it often affects me in the way that I feel anxious and I take on my loved one’s pain and suffering as my own. I hate to know that someone I love is in pain. It’s one of the hardest feeling for me to process. Even worse than my own pain. I love each and every one of these people so much, and it’s hard knowing that I can’t heal their hearts.
So this past month for me has been a huge learning experience. I am learning to just BE there for people instead of thinking I have to DO something. HUGE lesson. There are things that happen that I can’t change or help, except by simply being a source of love and support. Sometimes just a quiet ear is better than a word of advice. Sometimes a silent hug is better than a question of how to be of help. And so I wait, ready to love, ready to listen, and ready to give that silent hug to anyone that needs it… You know who you are, and you know how much I love you.
This year is almost over and I am really excited to see what the New Year will bring. Kaleo and I loved our trip back home so much that we had a very hard time coming back. Being in the ocean, spending time with loved ones, watching the sunsets… One thing I absolutely LOVE about Hawaii is that everyone stops what they’re doing to watch the sunset. And it happens every day! I’m talking about people driving will pull over, restaurant staff will stop and watch, it’s so awesome! People actually take the time out of their day to pause and reflect on the beauty of nature. Every.Single.Day. That is a beautiful lesson right there. It’s a practice that we can adapt into our lives no matter where in the world we live. It doesn’t have to be a sunset, it could be stopping to watch a bird splash in a puddle or listen to a child laugh, or pick some wild flowers and give them away to someone. Any little pause in your busy day, and little gesture that makes you feel alive and grateful.
I’ve definitely had my love for life strengthened lately. My gratitude for every moment I can spend with loved ones, and my appreciation for day to day things that I might usually take for granted. All these things make me happy to be alive and excited to see what’s next. I will be posting a photo year in review soon, maybe today maybe not.
I love you all. Now go tell someone you love them…
(my header image is The Tree of Life by Gustav Klimt, one of my favorite artists)