I’m writing this with a sad heart right now as Kaleo and Annie are on their way to relocate the first of about 14 squirrels to a new place. Let me start from the beginning.
As you know, I had the ‘great’ idea to start a garden. I put my heart into this garden and slowly began to watch the fruits of my labor unfold as little sprouts peeped up out of the Earth, plants began to flower, and eventually my beautiful little organic garden of love started to produce fruits and veggies! Oh what a happy day! So- if you’ve been following this blog, or perhaps have spoken to me in person in the past couple of months since this whole garden thing began, you know that I’ve been battling creatures. It started with earwigs, then slugs, then rabbits, then birds, then maybe something I don’t even know about, definitely the neighborhood cat, and then…. The Squirrels. Yes, I capitalized them because they are a force to be reckoned with. Not only do the squirrels like to eat all of my yummy berries as soon as they turn ripe and colorful, or chomp on each little carrot-top as soon as it peeks it’s green out of the dirt, or chew every last leaf of the cucumber plants until they shrivel and die, oh no. They also like to play in the dirt. Yep, funny guys, huh? They dig and roll around in the freshly planted soil, and scoop out the dirt from my new potted Plumeria (named Alice by the way). Just for FUN. Those little bastards.
Now they have a new game in addition to my garden playground. They come to our lanai and cruise around looking for any left over pellets that Bella might have missed. And they even have started to come into the house when the sliding glass door is open! They are now encroaching on our personal space and it is not okay. So- I’ve been shoo-ing them away with crazy antics and I now know that they simply do it for entertainment. They must be saying, ” Let’s see if we can get that crazy lady to do something funny”. And when I do, they run back to their little cave under the stairs and roll around with laughter. Ugh! It’s SO infuriating!!!
Okay, so Kaleo got back from Japan on Monday, and saw how the monsters have taken over and how ballsy they’ve gotten. We woke up Tuesday morning and he says, that’s it, I’m buying a gun right now… My reaction? Oh this is good. Keep in mind I’m in tears while saying this:
“A GUN??! Who ARE you?! YOU GO TO JAPAN AND EAT HORSE AND COME BACK A MONSTER!!
Yep. I know. I was laughing at myself too… I just said, ‘Wow, that was a little dramatic, huh?’ And we started cracking up. So… tension gone, head a little more clear after my ridiculous outbreak, I conceded and told him that if he wanted to shoot them, I couldn’t know ANYTHING about it. I was still crying and sad though. Well, the wonderful husband that he is when into his studio and started looking up humane traps online. That’s how much he loves me. 🙂
So we go and get a humane trap. All good right? Nope. Now I feel bad that the mommy and daddy will be separated and the babies will be orphans, and they will be sad and scared, and, and…. *sigh* There really is no pleasing me in this situation because if I had my way, we would just live in harmony with the animals and they can eat some of my veggies from the garden because we can’t possibly eat them all, and besides I was always taught to share… But they are digging holes ALL over the front yard and ruining the property, so something has to be done.
So I had a meeting this afternoon and while I was gone Kaleo set the trap. When I got home we had caught the big daddy of squirrels. He was chirping and squeaking and whatever it is they do, probably warning the rest of them. So now here I am writing about it while Kaleo and Annie are finding him a new home. And all I can think of is his family all freaking out because he is gone, and then him in a new place where he doesn’t know anyone, missing his family. Aw man.. It’s so lame. I’m just grateful that I have a compassionate husband who did this all without me because I am way too much of a softy and a chicken to do it myself. So here’s to the bag daddy squirrel finding himself a nice new home, and getting it ready for his family, because the rest of them will be joining him soon, I’m sure.
An hour later and they are back…. with squirrel!! I was trying SO hard to not laugh. Apparently there wasn’t a good enough place to release the little guy. Sooooo…. He is now in our garage, still in the cage, and Kaleo is fabricating a cute little squirrel watering system out of some celery. I love it! So damn sweet. So I called a pest-remover that I found on a humane animal site. He is going to come out with six more traps and then once we have them he will take them all to the same spot and release them. Yay! This means that most likely they will all live happily ever after together. I even asked him, ‘You promise me that you will release them all in the same spot and not just hurt (kill) them, right??’. He laughed and said yes. So I believe him. And I’m happy. And I’m laughing because Kaleo really IS in the garage giving the squirrel food and making a water dish out of celery. So awesome. All love.